If you visit Google and type in “How do lesbians,” the first result is inevitably “have sex?” In a popular episode of the TV show South Park, this question was repeated. For some reason, for much of the general population, trying to figure out how two women have sex seems to be equitable to solving a very difficult math equation. But it really isn’t that hard! Ask any woman who has sex with women. It comes pretty naturally to most.
The obvious answer, to many, may be using a strap-on. Strap-ons are a great tool, but they’re not the end-all be-all, and there are many people with vulvas who prefer to forego them altogether. Penetration *gasp* isn’t everything, and it certainly isn’t definitive of sex.
The answer lies in tribadism, also known as tribbing—or put more simply, grinding. It’s an action that is vastly underrated and a guaranteed avenue for pleasure. There’s a good reason that women who have sex with women orgasm more often than straight women.
So whether you’re preparing to foray into your first vulva-on-vulva adventure or you’re just curious about the mechanics of it all, here’s a guide to scissoring, with all its various nicknames and derivatives.
What’s the difference between scissoring and tribbing?
Tribbing simply refers to the act of rubbing vulvas together. There are many possible positions that may be used to “trib” or grind.
Scissoring itself refers to a specific position in which two people interlace their legs, like two pairs of scissors opening toward each other. Although it’s associated with lesbians, anyone can really use this position—two people with vulvas; one person with a vulva and one with a penis; or even two people with penises.
When scissoring, the vulva owners start out facing each other, meeting at their feet. They each open their legs and inch their vulvas closer to each other until their vulvas meet. From here, they can move and grind their vulvas together in order to reach orgasm. It isn’t the easiest position to describe, but you get the idea.
As with scissoring, anyone can grind; it’s an equal opportunity position and feels great. Remember dry humping? Well, dry humping with your clothes off, if done correctly, is a great way to bring your partner to orgasm, especially if they don’t normally orgasm through penetration alone. (Should we call it wet humping?) Grinding is awesome because it doesn’t even have to be genital-on-genital. It can be genital-on-thigh, hip, hand, wrist, knee or face! It’s a great inclusive activity that’s great for people of all body types. No matter what parts you’re working with, everyone can grind.
A pro-tip: Use lube. Making things nice and wet and slippery will make everything feel that much better. It can also prevent any uncomfortable friction. You want some friction, of course; otherwise, you’ll go flying off the edge of your partner, but rubbing too much on hair or dry skin can eventually get uncomfortable.
What are the best positions for tribbing?
Scissoring is actually probably not the most efficient or intimate position, although it can be fun! It’s certainly one of those things you see in porn that works a bit better in fantasy than in reality. Some people love it, but others prefer positions that allow more control and leverage or get you closer to your partner so you can kiss and touch other body parts.
A common tribbing position is a “missionary” position, with one partner on their back and the other above them on their hands and knees, grinding away. From here, both participants are free to make out, fondle other body parts, and directly grind their vulvas together. A common variation of this position is a closer scissor-like position where partners face each other, and each person’s vulva overlaps the other’s thigh. Both participants then grind on the other’s thigh while their hands are free to roam, and they can enjoy deep kissing and eye contact.
Once you’ve got the rhythm down, you can advance to a cowgirl or reverse cowgirl position, with one partner lying back and the other straddling their hips, “riding” them. This position allows the cowgirl to exert more control, as they can use their hands to push against their partner for leverage and deeper grinding. It’s also super hot for the person being ridden to watch their partner going wild and allows them to be able to use their hands to grip their partner’s breasts, thighs and hips to pull them closer and position them to hit just the right spot. As with other positions, the cowgirl can grind against the rider’s vulva, their hipbones, or anywhere else along the body that feels good.
What toys can I use to enhance tribbing?
Grinding alone isn’t always enough for everyone. Some folks require a little penetration or an extra buzz to arrive at the final destination of O-town.
A double-ended dildo made of a soft material will allow both users to enjoy penetration and a back-and-forth thrusting motion as each user pushes and pulls the toy. It should be flexible enough to move with both users’ bodies and allow them to have bodily contact so they can continue grinding and giving each other clitoral stimulation.
We-Vibe also offers a few grind-friendly toys. The classic design, advertised as a couples vibrator meant to be worn during penetration, is also amazing for couples who want to wear it during non-penetrative sex. Because the We-Vibe Chorus has motors in both sections of the toy, one partner can wear it while the other partner grinds against the other side. This still allows full-body contact between the users and makes for the perfect toy for couples in which one person prefers a bit of internal stimulation while the other prefers external only. Similarly, the We-Vibe Nova can be used in much the same fashion, with the bonus of a handle and a bit of a stiffer shaft for deeper penetration. The clitoral stimulator is much more flexible than that of most standard rabbits, so the other partner can comfortably grind on top of it while the other lays back and enjoys dual stimulation.
As always, use a water-based lube for maximum pleasure! Happy grinding!
